Apparently my boyfriend can’t just doomscroll in peace like everyone else—he found polyamory TikTok, and now he suddenly wants an 'open dynamic' because monogamy is 'outdated social conditioning.' We share three classes, and I feel totally sick. If I say no, I’m the clingy villain holding him back, but if he dumps me over an algorithm, I will literally scream.

Deep breath: You don’t have to overhaul your entire love life just because his For You Page had a weird Tuesday. Polyamory isn’t an iPhone software update you're forced to install. It takes insane amounts of communication and zero jealousy—not a ten-second video with pastel captions and lo-fi beats. When someone uses buzzwords like 'outdated conditioning' to ask for a hall pass while keeping you on emotional retainer, that’s not spiritual growth. That’s just wanting a buffet without paying the bill. You are allowed to want monogamy, full stop. That doesn’t make you possessive; it makes you honest. Give it to him straight: 'I’m strictly a one-on-one person. If you genuinely need an open setup to be happy, we aren’t a match—and while that sucks, I’m not changing my boundaries for an algorithm.' Sure, sitting across from him in third period might be awkward for a bit if he walks away. But it beats torturing yourself watching him flirt with your reluctant permission. Stand your ground.