Every time they hop into our club Discord, my hands curl into stiff little claws and my face goes numb, and no, I’m not being dramatic. I genuinely thought I had MS or nerve damage from stress over this track teammate who treats me like garbage. Turns out our first responder heard me wheezing on open mic and told me it’s hyperventilation tetany. How do I stop my body from completely losing its mind over a situationship that isn't even worth it?

First, breathe: your nervous system isn't frying, and your brain isn't melting down. Your body is just staging a full-blown emergency evacuation every time this person breathes near a microphone. Hyperventilation tetany is wild. When your brain registers danger—and a cruel situationship definitely qualifies as an emotional jump-scare—you subconsciously pant like you're sprinting the 400m hurdles. Your blood CO2 plunges, calcium shifts, and suddenly your fingers turn into rigid lobster claws. It feels like an impending stroke, but it's really just your primal flight-or-fight reflex desperately trying to drag you out of the room. Your body isn't betraying you; it’s violently trying to save you because your stubborn heart refuses to leave. You can't out-argue biology while remaining in the firing line. The next time their name pops up in voice chat, don't try to prove you're unbothered. Type one sentence: "Audio's glitching, logging off." Hit disconnect, put both feet flat on the floor, and breathe in for four seconds, out for six. Listen to your lungs on this one. They have vastly better standards than your situationship ever will.