He loves acting like Socrates over coffee, explaining "how the real world works", but the second I go to a normal campus mixer without him, my WhatsApp blows up with essays calling me childish and "unfocused" 🙄 Like, you’re thirty, dude. If you hook up with an undergrad, don’t get mad when I do undergrad stuff? Am I losing my mind or is this ridiculous?

Short version: You’re not losing your mind, you’re just dealing with someone who wants the ego boost of a younger partner without the reality of one. He’s playing a classic campus game. In person, he gets to feel intellectually superior playing the worldly mentor who has it all figured out. But the second you step out of his orbit to drink cheap punch with people your own age, his illusion crumbles into pure FOMO. Blasting you with furious paragraphs about your "immaturity" isn't profound life advice—it’s just a control tantrum wrapped in big words. If he actually wanted a partner with a ten-year career and a pension plan, he’d date one. Next time his lecture lands on your screen, don’t write a defense essay back. Just hit him with: "I’m in college and I enjoy campus life. If you need me to live like a thirty-year-old, we’re definitely looking for different things." Uni is for having fun, making memories, and finding your own lane—not for being someone’s private remedial project.