I completely froze in the kitchen last night when the guy I’ve been seeing from Hinge told a circle of strangers that getting me into bed is 'like waking the dead'. I just need time to feel safe before sex, but I felt so humiliated. Am I defective for having a slower drive, or is something actually wrong with me?

First things first: your libido isn’t broken, but his manners definitely are. Needing emotional safety, comfort, or simply a slower pace before stripping down doesn’t make you an antique clock that refuses to tick. It just means you are human. What happened by the punch bowl wasn't a harmless joke about mismatched sex drives—it was a cheap shot at your expense to score social points. He didn't just step over an intimate boundary; he did a full tap dance on it. You never owe anyone instant sexual availability just because you matched on an app and shared a few drinks. Your body isn't defective for refusing to run on someone else’s stopwatch, and trying to force arousal out of guilt is the quickest way to kill it completely. You don't need to apologize for your pacing, but you do need to ditch the guy using it as party trivia. Text him something simple: "Making fun of our private life to strangers completely crossed the line. I’m out." Hold your head high. You aren't waking the dead—you're just dodging a clown.