I feel awful even asking, but my parents just unlocked my brand-new apartment mid-dinner date carrying Tupperware and grilled my date about her five-year plan. She bolted, and now she’s barely replying on Discord except with polite one-word answers. How do I fix this without dying of pure shame?

First, take a breath: you didn't commit a crime, you just survived a textbook ambush catered by your own mother. Here’s the reality check: your date didn't run away from you; she ran away from an unscripted audition for your family tree. Moving into your own place is supposed to be the international symbol for adult autonomy, but parents often think a spare key is an all-access backstage pass. It’s completely normal to feel mortified, but hiding under a rock won't help. Your best move is leaning entirely into the absurdity instead of pretending it didn't happen. Send her a quick note on Discord: "Hey, I am so sorry about last night. My parents clearly have zero concept of boundaries, but the lock code is being changed today. Can I buy you a drink somewhere with zero Tupperware and a locked door?" If she has a pulse and a sense of humor, she’ll laugh. And your very next move before date number two: revoke that spare key. You're paying rent for your life, not running a family drop-in clinic.