I feel terrible for even seeing it, but I saw my girlfriend’s saved Instagram reels and now I'm spiraling. It’s packed with extreme tantric roleplay tutorials. Meanwhile, we’re having quiet missionary on my creaky twin bed while trying not to wake my parents down the hall. Am I failing her completely? Do I seriously need to attempt acrobatics in my childhood bedroom? 😭

Take a breath and step away from the acrobatics: nobody expects your squeaky twin bed to turn into a Cirque du Soleil stage. Here is a sacred rule of the internet: saved Instagram reels are rarely an intimate wishlist. More often, they are a digital crime scene of morbid curiosity, cringe-watching, and things forwarded straight to the group chat with a caption like "look at this lunatic." Intimacy coaches talking about cosmic pelvic alignment usually get bookmarked for pure roasting material, not inspiration. Instead of losing sleep over theoretical gymnastics, test the waters with a laugh. Next time you're lounging together, say: "My feed got completely hijacked by these unhinged intimacy-coach reels—do people actually do this stuff or are we allowed to laugh?" Watch her instantly mock the absurdity, exhaling all that panic in one go. Leave the contortionism to the influencers who don't have parents sleeping one drywall away.