I was literally crying into an unpacked moving box in my first flat because my ex dumped me for being 'cold and unloving'. Then my mate spotted her new Tinder bio: must share live location 24/7 and text back within 10 mins 💀 Suddenly I feel weirdly relieved. Was I actually emotionally unavailable, or did I just dodge a full-time surveillance gig?

Congratulations on surviving what sounds less like a romance and more like an electronic tag sentence. You aren't emotionally cold; you just prefer a relationship over a 24/7 hostage negotiation. Here is the reality check: when people have an anxious need for absolute control, any normal boundary looks like icy rejection to them. Wanting to go to the supermarket without broadcasting your GPS coordinates doesn't make you distant. It makes you a functioning adult who doesn't treat an iPhone battery like a loyalty test. Her bio isn't dating criteria, it’s a job posting for a probation officer. Next step: stop unpacking, order pizza, and sit on the bare floor of your new place in absolute, glorious silence. The next time a wave of post-breakup guilt hits you, just picture yourself having to ping your live location from the toilet. Breathe easy. In your new flat, nobody is tracking how long you take to answer a text.