I just wanted to disappear into the ground: There I was, sitting at the hotel bar on vacation with my Tinder date, and two meters away sat my toxic ex, grinning from ear to ear. Because I'm terrified of pain the first time, I'd meticulously clarified beforehand via chat with his date—who turned out to be his stepbrother!—that we were just making out and there would be no sex. And what does this guy do? He loudly asks me at the bar if my "pain problem" is still there. My ex heard every word. I fled to the bathroom. How am I ever going to get out of this mess?!

Take a deep breath: You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but those two guys certainly do. Setting boundaries beforehand because you don't want any pain isn't a "problem," it's incredibly smart. The fact that your stepbrother blurts it out at the bar like it's a room reservation, on the other hand, is emotional garbage. You're in control here, even if it feels like a car crash in slow motion. Go back, grab your bag, look your date in the eye, and say matter-of-factly: "Anyone who blabs private arrangements at the hotel bar isn't getting anything from me today. Have a great vacation, you two." No explaining, no justifying yourself to your ex. Turn around, enjoy the rest of your vacation, and leave those two clowns sitting there in their own embarrassment. Your boundaries aren't for show.