My best friend just dragged me on our mutual Discord with 20 friends, and we literally moved into our first flat together last week. He posted a whole essay about how refusing sexual labels is 'cowardly internalized homophobia'—which is 100% about me, because I just date who I like. Is it actually bad to not want a tag? I'm sitting in my room feeling mortified and so confused.

Short version: Your sexuality is not a team jersey, and you do not owe anyone a barcode. Labels exist to help people feel seen and find community *if* they want them—they are tools, not mandatory entrance tickets to decency. Accusing you of internalized bigotry just because you refuse to climb into a pre-labeled box isn’t progressive activism; it’s just gatekeeping wrapped in woke packaging. And roasting your new roommate on Discord instead of talking across the hallway? That’s pure high school theater. Take this out of the digital arena immediately. Walk into the kitchen, skip the debate on queer theory, and address the real violation: "If you have thoughts on my personal life, say it to my face, not in a server with 20 mutuals. My identity isn’t content for your soapbox." You’re setting up a home together, not a debate club. You get to define yourself on your own terms—or leave it completely undefined. Anyone who needs you categorized just to respect you is organizing their filing cabinet, not being a friend.