Dr Gnoxx

Mason asks · 1 hour ago

My ex expects me on Snapchat every single night to talk him through his anxiety spirals, but reminds me by morning that we're strictly broken up. It's draining the life out of me, yet hanging up feels like abandoning him.

Dr Gnoxx answers

Let's rip off the band-aid: you aren't his emergency contact, you're his emotional pacifier with no subscription fee. He gets the intimacy, the free late-night therapy, and the soothing reassurance of a relationship, while giving you zero commitment and leaving you completely drained at 2 a.m. Anxiety is tough, but outsourcing it exclusively to an ex while denying them any real partnership isn't vulnerability—it's convenience. You don't have to be cruel to stop being his crisis center. Send him one simple message before bedtime: "I care about you, but I don't have the emotional capacity to be on call at night anymore. If you're struggling, you need to lean on a therapist or your family." Then put your phone on 'Do Not Disturb' and leave it across the room. Guarding your own mental health isn't abandonment, it's basic self-preservation.
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