My long-distance partner came to visit me at uni this weekend and got furious because I pulled away when they tried to hold my hand across the quad. I’m completely in the closet here and terrified of who might see us, but they say that if I really loved them, I wouldn’t hide them.

Straight to the point: Nobody gets to drag you out of the closet just to soothe their own insecurities. Holding hands in public should feel sweet, not like you’re walking a tightrope without a net while your entire lecture hall watches. Your partner might already be living openly or feeling disconnected because of the distance, wanting proof that you're all in. But weaponizing affection to test your loyalty isn't romantic—it’s reckless with your safety and peace of mind. Your campus, your pace. Period. Before their next visit, draw the line outside the heat of the moment: "I’m crazy about you, but deciding when to come out here is mine alone. Pushing me doesn’t make me feel proud; it makes me feel cornered." Someone who truly loves you will happily hold your hand on the couch until you're genuinely ready to hold it in the quad. Real affection doesn't need an audience to be real.