my mom read my chats with an app match because my old ipad was still synced, and now she's lecturing me using tiktok buzzwords about red flags. i just moved into my first place. how do i make this stop?

Log out of that iPad remotely right now and change your Apple ID password. Tech boundaries come before conversations. What’s happening here is a classic collision: you’ve just moved out, and your mom is struggling with losing control. Reading your private messages is a serious breach of privacy, and reciting TikTok therapy-speak is simply her way of disguising snooping as helpful concern. Do not debate her relationship theories. Arguing about whether this match is a "red flag" only validates her reading the messages in the first place. Next time she brings it up, give her one clear line: "I’m not discussing my love life with you when you only know about it because you went through my private chats." If she keeps going, tell her you'll talk later and hang up. You have your own front door now, and that extends to your digital life too.