My new guy literally vanished from a party last night and ghosted me for five hours just because I laughed at someone else's joke 💀 Then at 3 AM I get this massive essay saying his cheating ex gave him a panic attack. I feel awful for him, but being iced out made me feel like absolute garbage. What do I even do with this?

First things first: laughing at a punchline is not a crime, and you didn’t do anything wrong. His 3 AM confession shows vulnerability, yes, but here’s the unvarnished truth: an explanation is not an excuse. Having trauma from a cheating ex explains why alarms went off in his head, but vanishing and leaving you to rot in icy silence makes his emotional hangover your punishment. You are his new girlfriend, not the ghost of girlfriends past. Empathy without boundaries will just turn you into his emotional punching bag. Cut through the drama while it’s fresh. Tell him: "I'm really sorry you went through that with your ex, and I want to be safe for you. But vanishing and freezing me out made me feel terrible. Next time you panic, tell me you need a minute—don't punish me for her mistakes." Past wounds are real, but he needs to learn to say "I'm scared" instead of slamming emotional doors in your face.