My teammates bullied me into staging fake luxury dinner dates on Instagram so I'd stop looking like a virgin, and today I found out they have a group chat where they literally vote on my 'cringe score'. I want to dig a hole and die. How do I even walk into the locker room tomorrow?

First things first: take a breath, you’re not the clown here—you just got targeted by a bunch of grown men acting like mean girls with gym passes. What happened wasn’t friendly banter; it was a cheap setup. They pushed you out onto a fake high wire just so they could giggle when you wobbled. The good news? The moment you stop sweating their little pageant, their leverage evaporates completely. Don't wipe your feed in a panic, and definitely don't pretend it didn't happen. Next practice, look the loudest one dead in the eye with a dry smirk and say: "Glad my fake pasta kept you guys entertained all week. You need any other content ideas, or are we actually here to play?" Own the absurdity, cut the fake-flex nonsense immediately, and remind them that obsessing over another man's dinner plates is about ten times more embarrassing than anything you posted. Play your game and let them choke on their own group chat.