Wait, am I losing my mind or did he really just text me "wish you were here" while his Tinder location literally updated to "100m away, at the resort pool"?? We've been in this blurry situationship for months where he keeps feeding me tiny little sweet texts, but now I see his fresh profile pic holding a piña colada three sunbeds away from me. What even is this game?!

Deep breath: your eyesight is 20/20, your sanity is intact, and his audacity is currently sunbathing by the shallow end. What you're experiencing is textbook breadcrumbing with a tropical splash of cowardice. He wants the cozy ego-boost of keeping you hooked on the line, but zero percent of the accountability. Texting you romantic nonsense while actively swiping on pool loungers in your immediate vicinity isn't mysterious charm—it's someone who wants a buffet without paying for the ticket. Stop squinting over your sunglasses and put down the binoculars. You don't need a dramatic poolside confrontation, just a swift dose of reality. Next time he pings you a cute little crumb, drop a casual: "Funny text, especially since I can see your neon swim trunks from here. Let's call it a day, enjoy your vacation!" Then silence the notifications, grab your own drink, and let him fish in the kiddie pool alone.