We agreed to meet 30 mins before everyone gathers tonight to talk, but he left my "where should we meet?" on read hours ago. Meanwhile he's actively dropping memes in the group chat like nothing happened. I'm literally pacing my parents' living room spiraling—do I just show up acting totally unbothered, or do I confront him before I even leave the house?

Do not chase him down, and do not make a dramatic stand before you leave the house. The pre-meet is officially off, and your only job tonight is showing up for your friends, not his validation. Leaving you on read while bantering in the group is peak cowardice. He probably realized a one-on-one conversation requires emotional effort he doesn't want to expend right now, so he simply ducked out and hoped the crowd would absorb the awkwardness. Spiraling in your childhood bedroom only makes him seem larger than he is. Take the steering wheel back with one neutral message: "Skipping coffee then, see you guys later." Don't wait for a reply, put your phone on do not disturb, and arrive whenever it suits you. If he acts overly casual in person, give him polite, mild distance. You don't have to pretend you're thrilled, but refusing to perform panic in front of him is the cleanest power move you have.