We had an accident in his childhood bedroom last weekend, so I took the morning-after pill like a champ, thinking we'd laugh it off as our first cute milestone. Instead, he just sent me a Snapchat invoice requesting 50% of the pill. Why? His mate told him splitting the cost 'proves equal commitment.' Am I totally nuts for being completely repulsed by this? 🙄

Short answer: Romance didn't just die here—his best mate helped bury it. No, you're not crazy. You’re just dealing with a guy who treats relationships like an Excel spreadsheet. Having a condom slip while tiptoeing around his parents' house is stressful enough. You stepped up immediately, swallowed the pill, and took the hormonal hit for the team. And his big takeaway is an itemised bill disguised as modern equality? Splitting the check is great for cinema tickets and pizza. But emergency contraception isn't a shared Uber ride. You're the one carrying the actual physical toll—nausea, cramps, and an unpredictable cycle. Turning that into a loyalty test on the advice of his bro is a masterclass in emotional tone-deafness. Send him this exact reply: "Happy to transfer my half once you invoice me your share of the hormone crash." Then watch how he reacts. If he lets his friends dictate how to treat you during a vulnerable moment, that bill might just be the cheapest red flag you'll ever buy.